Have you ever wondered if you adequately develop your Character or show up with Character at work?  With your kids?  In your life? 

What Does Character Even Mean? 

Let's start with the definition of Character.  Webster dictionary gives us all sorts of definitions of the word, Character.

• Attribute that distinguishes an individual
• Mental or ethical traits that individualize a person, group or nation
• Essential nature, strongly marked to distinguish
• Moral excellence
• Graphic symbol, as in an alphabet

What do you see as common elements in those five definitions of Character?  I see … DISTINGUISH.  After all, who wants to go to the movies or a watch a play or read a novel with bland characters?  Or how could you read an alphabet where all characters looked alike!?!  They must be distinguishable, each with their own sound or meaning.

The second common component in the five definitions of Character is ethical traits and moral...

I LOVE the definition of WISDOM as the soundness of act or decision based on good judgment, knowledge and experience.  I love it because Wisdom is in MOTION through our actions and decisions.  It's not just some bottled up concept that sits on a shelf.  Wisdom doesn't just sit in the brains of our elders! 

Want to make wise decisions and act wisely?  Yep, Me too!

The definition tells us HOW to act and decide with Wisdom.  We base them on good judgment, knowledge and experience.  Okay, I bet you're thinking, "I have experience.  I know stuff.  And I have good judgment." 

Are you wise? 

Ah, that leads us to the last key word in the definition:  Soundness.  There it is.  The qualifier.  The component that separates wheat from chaff.  Significance from Norm.  Soundness.

Soundness is a high standard to meet.  Webster dictionary says it is the ability to withstand force or stress without being...

If you were 100% certain you would receive a 100% True answer from ANY question you could ask, what question would you ask?

Think about it and journal your thoughts. 

Tough to formulate that perfect question, isn't it? 

Did you ask a question about your life?  Your family?  Your health?  career?  Something about the future of the world? 

Wisdom Story of the Delphi Oracle

There is a fascinating story from Ancient Greece about receiving Truth.  In the temple at Delphi, there was a priestess called, the Delphi Oracle.  It was believed she would respond with truth when the proper ceremony was performed and your question, asked.

The King of Lydia, Croesus contemplated attacking the Persian army and wanted to know if he would be victorious.  He went to the Delphi Oracle and asked if he would defeat the Persian Army.  As the story goes, the Delphi Oracle responded, "If Croesus goes to war, he will destroy a great empire." 

...

Have you ever had that moment when you're interacting with someone and time seems to stand still?  There's a million responses running around in your head.  You choose one.  The safe one.  20 minutes later you think to yourself, "OOOOHHHH!   I shoulda said BLANK!"

That, my friend, was an Authentic Chasm Moment….missed.

Let's switch it around.  Think about 5 moments in your life that were significant.  REALLY significant.  Write them down right now.

<jeopardy music plays>

I'd place a large bet that at least two of those five significant moments, there was an Authentic Chasm Moment.  A moment in time you took a diving leap of faith.  A HUGE risk.  The moment right after that Authentic Chasm Moment, you can't believe what came out of your mouth and yet, there it is.  Because you labelled it a significant moment, something purely magical happened next, right?

This too, is an Authentic Chasm Moment, but at the...

I looked at my Dad across the kitchen table.  Breathing tubes wrap around his face and the sound of air bursts every few seconds as an air compressor pushes oxygen through the tube.  We just spent a few hours talking about politics, the decay of our neighborhood and how washing machines just aren't worth repairing any more.  I relished these mundane topics and these times with him because I knew there were precious few remaining.

I thought about asking him the next question over the last few months.  A question about my ancestry.  About our relationship.  THE question.  I got a little nervous as the words swam around in my head like letters floating in alphabet soup.  The kitchen table seemed to stretch between us.  It is time. 

The Cliffhanger

Have you ever read a Dan Brown novel?  Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Inferno.  He is a modern master of the cliffhanger.  Every chapter ends in a mini cliffhanger so you...

"I need to go grocery shopping today, Charles.  How much money do you have?"   Charles pulls his wallet out of his back pocket.  Looks in, "$35." 

Seems like a normal conversation, but it changed my life!  You see, I was visiting Charles and his family on Pine Ridge Reservation.  A few of us gathered around him at his front door, listening to him tell stories and share wisdoms from the Lakota ways of being. 

After Charles' wife went back into the house, it dawned on me.  $35.  That's ALL they have!  There's no bank account.  No money stuffed under the mattress.  9 kids and grandma and all they have is $35!!  That realization sunk into my brain.  I was taken aback by the level of faith he has that 'the universe will provide.' 

In the Presence of Wisdom

When you go into another culture, watch for these 'surprise' moments.  You have a choice.  You can judge these moments by your own culture's...

What comes to mind when you see the word, SIGNIFICANCE?  Maybe you think of historical events.  Or famous people.  The relevant question is:  Are you significant?  In the world?  On your job?  With your family?  Significance is a big word and it has so many meanings.  Ready to explore?

I've known Becky for 25 years.  A treasured friend.  We were in the café and I was telling her about my new offering which used the words, Success and Significance.  She wrinkled her nose.  "Not a fan of the word, 'significance.'  We live in a world where we strive for more more more.  Significance is overwhelming.  And crushing.  No … significance just feels like more pressure."

Well, that didn't go how I imagined.

Significance and Statistics

Not many people know I'm an analytic geek.  When I was in my PhD program in Organization Behavior, I would go to the bookstore and buy graduate level...

I pulled up in front of the house to pick up my daughters from their Mom's.  I let out a big sigh.  Transition time.  It was a tough week in my consulting job:  tough decisions, long hours and clients in 2 cities.  The 6-hour drive itself is mostly white-knuckled, watching for deer darting out of the woods at any moment.  I'm REALLY bushed.  But it's time to level up the energy for my daughters.  Yes, they expect a full, active day.  I get ready for my 11 and 13-year old -- both at that brink between girl and young women. 

I pause and look up at the door of the house.  It's time.  I get out of the car and walk around to the sidewalk.  My youngest BURSTS through the front door, skips down the stairs and runs down the front path.  She meets me at the sidewalk and throws her arms around me and squeals, "Daddy!!!"  I smile and somehow I know deep in my soul that this is the Last Time I'll get this unsolicited,...

We began this board retreat in an unusual way.  We walked a labyrinth.  Simply put, a labyrinth is not a maze.  It’s structure that has one way in and one way out so you can let go of wondering what’s next and just settle into your meditation, your intent.  For more information about labyrinths, go to www.Veriditas.org

 In facilitating this board retreat, I wanted to make it very connecting, valuable.  My intention for walking the labyrinth was for the board to collaborate extraordinarily well this weekend.  A simple intention.

 Wisdom Messages from the Labyrinth

 As I stepped onto the labyrinth, my head was filled with the retreat agenda.  The dynamics of the team.  The necessity to blend the personal styles of board and team members.  How to navigate the flow of the two days.  But the business and busyness in my brain slowly melted away with each step.  I began to notice the snow on the trees outside...

"Is that your final answer?" 

Have you ever wanted to use that line in an important meeting?  I have.  Many Times.  In my 30-year consulting career, we get to a place where we want the client to make the final decision.  Because they want to make an informed decision, we've gathered information.  We've analyzed the data.  We've interviewed the experts.  We've researched the leading practices.  Here we go….and … Nope.  Another area to study or another person to talk to.  I can't blame them.  Not only is this project at stake, but their reputation is on the line.  Heck, their career hung in balance based on this one Big Decision.

Making Rational Decisions

From the very start of my consulting career, I was enamored with how people, groups and organizations make decisions.  You'd think they rely mostly on a rational decision-making model. 

Step 1:  State Decision 

Step 2.  Develop...